Lose your breath
by Makiko Igami
Summary: Noctis finds that the afterlife has some nice features that he hadn't counted on. Luna is there to guide him along, but he is more worried about his best friend. (Afterlife, Fix-It of Sorts, noctisweek 2017, brotherhood snippets, To My Younger Self, Dreams, Noctis is a ghost and then not, but he can travel through time and space Suicidal Thoughts, as Promtis as the game is)


**Notes:** I saw the prompts for Noctisweek 2017 for Day 1 and I immediately had an idea for "To my younger self". That scene is somewhere towards the end of this monster now, it's really small. The rest happened on a whim, like, I've been writing every moment of that day to get this out and I managed it right on time, too. On the other hand there are timezones to cheat with, but whatever.

The whole idea of this story is that after deafeating Ardyn at the end of the game, everything continues to happen in a dimension where time and space do not matter and Noctis learns how to use that to his advantage. It's... a pretty fantastic thought and I hope the idea isn't as bad as I think it is now. Or as confusing as I fear it might be.

I have certain ways of using punctuation marks and formatting of text, but it should be pretty self-explanatory. Just saying there's a differens between " and ' .

* * *

The afterlife turned out to be a funny thing for Noctis. It was much like his time in the crystal, floating around aimlessly, remembering moments of his life, dreaming up new memories and finding his peace with Luna. He 'dreamed' being king, sitting on the throne with her next to him, but it was just two of them and it felt like something was missing. He had the picture with him, taken during happier times and after showing it to Luna, he found himself staring at it more often than not.

He missed his friends, he hoped they were well, hoped that the light reached them, warmed their faces after that long time of darkness. While he didn't remember them well, he could picture their faces perfectly, using the photograph to her him jog his memory.

After a while, he didn't know how long, days, weeks, maybe years, he could feel Luna look at him with a mixture of curiosity and pity. He looked up into her pale blue eyes and tilted his head curiously, knowing she wanted to tell him something that he didn't know.

'You can visit them, you know?' She said, her voice like a memory in his head. 'You can be wherever, _whenever_ you want to be... Just think about it.'

He stared at her with a mixture of a frown and disbelief, so she took his hand and told him to trust her. He closed his eyes for a moment, and when he opened them again, they were in Hammerhead, standing right in front of the station. It was dark outside, but not in a _weird_ way, just because it was still night, but closing in on dawn.

Eyes wide, he turned to Luna, who just smiled mysteriously at him and let go of his hand as she stepped backwards.

'You know where to find me,' he heard her voice in his head again, and as he blinked, she had disappeared, only to be replaced by an approaching figure coming fast to the station. Noctis blinked, squinted and was surprised to see that it was Prompto, who had apparently been on an early morning run. He was still sporting his goatee, so Noctis knew that he was in the present, or at least in what he thought was the present.

Prompto arrived, but didn't return to the station. He ran past it and Noctis decided to follow him. A few moments later they were perched on top of the windmill powering parts of Hammerhead Station, looking towards what Noctis remembered to the direction of Insomnia. Sitting side-by-side, it didn't feel like any time had passed. Just that Prompto didn't take any notice of him at all.

Glancing over more often than not, Noctis wondered if he was simply invisible or just in another dimension that Prompto couldn't see him. He shuddered thinking that he was a ghost, although, well, he was just that. A soul in the afterlife roaming among the living. And boy was he glad that Prompto was still alive. He would never forgive himself if any of his friends grieved so much over him that they'd end their life prematurely.

Prompto had worried him the most, but he was glad to see that his best friend seemed to be okay.

Noctis smiled, feeling a wave of relief coming over him and he hadn't been aware just how much he had been worried about the man sitting next him.

"Hey buddy," he heard Prompto say and he whipped his head around, wondering of Prompto _could_ see him after all. The sky had turned orange already, promising a spectacular sunrise in the next few seconds.

That was what Prompto was looking at now, violet blue eyes trained on the horizon and within the next breath, the first rays of the sun fell on Eos. Noctis held his breath, turning quickly to look at Prompto.

His best friend was smiling, his gaze tender and intense. "Glad to see you again," he said, taking a deep breath that turned into a sigh, Prompto closing his eyes to feel the rays of sunshine on his already sun-kissed skin.

Noctis looked from the sunrise to Prompto and back a few times, waved his hand in front of Prompto's face just to make sure that the other _really_ couldn't see him and then snorted a laugh.

Prompto thought he was _the sun_.

It was amusing, really, seeing the blond greet the sun in his stead, as if it was able to replace him. Sure, Prompto had told him how he felt inferior to all of them, but comparing Noctis to the sun? Really, it was ridiculous.

After watching the sun for a while, Prompto got up and returned to the station, got dressed in a work overall and set upon repairing cars, machines and whatnot.

Noctis closed his eyes for a moment and then it was evening, the sun just setting. He found himself sitting next to Prompto on the windmill again, telling the sun about his day, little anecdotes that had happened. Noctis listened intently, since he hadn't been there, and watched Prompto saying good night to the sun as if it was really him.

For a few days, Noctis continued to watch his best friend's ritual and the more he watched, the more it grew on him. He promised silently that he would listen to everything Prompto wanted to tell him, since had all the time in the world anyway. Eventually, Prompto would pass over in the afterlife and Noctis vowed to wait for him and welcome him with open arms, patiently waiting until he could all these stories directly.

As he got more of a hang of traveling through the world of living - it was pretty much the same as warping around, just that he could move greater distances and didn't need a dagger or sword - Noctis was surprised to find out that both Gladio and Ignis in Lestallum and new Insomnia had similar rituals. They weren't as intense as Prompto's, but they always took a moment each morning to greet the sun properly.

Huh.

It was nighttime again and it seemed like a few years had passed as the wrinkles around Prompto's eyes had multiplied, their number rivaling that of his countless freckles.

"It's been ten years now... Another ten years without you, Noct," he heard the other say, holding his breath as if he could suddenly _feel_ his friend's loneliness.

"That's... Twice as much as twice the time that we've been best friends," he chuckled. "Glad I could to that much math, huh?"

He fell silent again and Noctis wished so badly that he could reach out and talk to his friend, give him just a little bit of reassurance that he was fine and that he was watching over him.

"But you know what? Sometimes... Sometimes it's like you're sitting here next to me and I feel like you're here with me when I'm... At my worst and it makes me happy to think that with every year that passes, I'm closer to seeing you again."

Holding his breath, Noctis was shocked to understand that Prompto looked forward to seeing him again in the afterlife just as much as he did.

"I can't wait to see you and Lady Lunafreya again. There's so much to tell! What you've left us behind with, it's grown, it's taken a turn for the better and everyone is happy. We've ventured out to Nifelheim as well, found some people who were still alive and made peace with them. We've... We've elected a council, and Ignis has been doing his best as a chancellor, holding your name high, making sure that everyone's needs are fulfilled... Not everyone's happy, you can't do that, but in general... People are content. It makes me happy..."

He trailed off and Noctis found himself swallowing around a thick lump in his throat, moved by how far everyone had come.

"I just wished we had had more time together. As friends. I mean, I'm happy with the way things happened, but... Five years in the face of twenty... Don't really seem all that much, you know? It's been... It's been such an intense time and I loved every moment of it, but just... I wish I had had the courage to approach you properly sooner. Talk to you, become your friend, grow up together. But I couldn't because I was shy and _heavy_ and clumsy and an idiot... You were such an amazing friend, I know that now, but I was so scared... So scared you'd make fun of me or didn't want my company..."

'Idiot,' Noctis thought. 'I've been waiting for you ever since that day to approach me again. I've been waiting for you to be my best friend...'

His eyes widened and he stared unseeingly at his knees realizing that he had but one regret in his life. One regret that made him sit here, alone, as a ghost, with his best friend, ten years after his death, listening to him reminiscing.

He regretted being passive, waiting on Prompto to come at him as a child, when he had needed a friend so badly. His injury and the long sleep had taken such a big toll on him that he didn't feel like talking to people at all.

That was another thing he regretted, but mostly he regretted not having friends but those he was told to have. Ignis, Luna, Gladio, they all had been more or less assigned to him, they all were older and while he learned a great deal from them, he only realized belatedly how much he missed a friend of his own age. Maybe that was why he had lingered behind, waiting for Prompto to be ready to talk to him.

Noctis was so lost in his thoughts that he didn't notice the days passing into weeks, and then months. He blinked and when he looked up he saw that the sun had set and a full moon was shining. He looked around, but Prompto was nowhere to be found, so he tried to _sense_ where he was.

Suddenly, he found himself in Altissia, but something felt wrong. He frowned, but as he looked around, he realized that the people around him didn't have distinct faces. Some were male, some were female, but other than that, he couldn't tell much more. He walked around a little, finding a Kenny Crow's and he smiled at the memory. However, he blinked when he saw who was sitting on a table near the window.

There was Prompto, but his younger self, 20 years old, and he was talking animatedly with his own younger self, who was eating fries and smiling at Prompto with the dreamiest look Noctis had ever seen.

'Did I ever look at him like that?' Noctis wondered with a fond smile at the scene before him.

All of a sudden, the scene changed, the view seemed to blur and Noctis found himself sitting in his younger self's position. He blinked and stared wide-eyed at Prompto, who then seemed to blur and turn into his older self himself. Not the 40-year-old man, but the one he had last seen when he was still alive.

"Why are you here," Prompto demanded, obviously miffed that the scene had changed from happier times to the time of great regret.

"...because you wanted me to be," Noctis said calmly, feeling a little weird to hear his own voice outside of his head. Somehow, he had not spoken out aloud ever since that fight with Ardyn and using his vocal chords now was kind of weird.

Prompto scoffed and looked to the side, covering his pout with a propped up hand. "It's not how I usually like it," he huffed, glancing outside. The scene had changed from a bright sunny day to eternal night, the only illumination coming from an eerie blue lantern that floated in front of the window, making the lines on Prompto's face even more visible. The scene changed again and by then, Noctis was sure that he was taking a lead role in one of Prompto's dreams without the blond realizing that he was dealing with the real thing.

"My bad," Noctis sighed, unable to hide a chuckle being faced with the older man's pout. He looked almost boyish now, and it was adorable to see the young boy beneath the older man's skin.

"Do you know how useless I feel? 'Ever at your side,' and now I'm here alone, only able to see my memory of you in my dreams. Noct... The time we had together was so short and now I've been waiting so long to go and find you again... But it's seems as if the Six want me to lead a long, empty life."

He scoffed again, obviously frustrated with himself. Noctis tilted his head and reached out to touch his hand, hoping to convey his sympathy. "I'll be waiting for you," he promised, "No matter how long it takes."

Prompto started crying then, the scene around them breaking and Noctis did the only thing he could think of as they started to fall into a void. He pulled his friend closer and hugged him, let him cry until his tears had run dry and he had fallen asleep again.

After that, Noctis found himself standing next to the tiny bed in Prompto's room at Hammerhead and watched him sleep peacefully until morning. The blond then got up and went on a morning run, greeted the sun like his best friend as he had done every day and continued to live his life.

That was how Noctis learned that he could communicate with some people in their dreams. Not everyone, but those whom he had been close to, who dreamed of him regularly.

He told Ignis that he was proud of him, listened to his fears and worries about the united Eos, told him exactly how to make that Tenebraen pastry and Ignis got it right every time from then on. He watched him send the pastry to Prompto and Gladio, the former starting to cry after the first bite.

He watched Gladio grow plants and vegetables and even tried them in the Shields dreams. They were better than he remembered them, sweet and soft, not bitter and hard to chew. He told him accordingly and Gladio laughed and patted his shoulders, telling him how he knew that he was dreaming now because 'good old Noct' would never talk about greens like that.

It was nice and it made Noctis feel... Not so _dead_ anymore. He thought about what it must have been like to have had this power during the time he was harvesting the Crystal's magic, being able to visit his friends in their dreams. They certainly would have been less lonely, knowing he was still there.

He hadn't even finished that thought and found himself standing near Hammerhead again, this time at night. He looked up to see no moon, no stars, no light whatsoever. All that he could see was Prompto, running fast along the track he usually chose for his morning run, shooting his guns left and right, killing daemons as if it was part of his daily routine. He looked younger, but not as young as the first time he had visited him in his dreams.

'Prompto, hey, it's me,' Noctis said, surprised to find himself speaking only in his mind again.

This... Wasn't a dream?

That thought was confirmed when Prompto ran right through him without even acknowledging him in the slightest.

He was a ghost.

This was reality.

He frowned, concentrated and the scene changed. For a second he was blinded by bright light that was reflected by pristine white snow, finding a figure dressed in black zooming by on a snow bike, a second figure behind him shooting a really big daemon.

'This... The time when Prompto was fighting alone in Nifelheim...'

They had talked about it briefly, what had happened to Prompto after Noctis had pushed him off the train, thinking it had been Ardyn. But to see it happen live and in technicolor...

He continued to watch Prompto fight, kicking ass quite literally and his respect for his best friend grew with every MT that found his unsightly end. Watched him sit at a small campfire, hugging his gun goodnight. He refrained to visit his dreams then, afraid of what he might see. Instead, he went to see how his own group was doing, just to find himself moping and being a brat to Ignis and Gladio, who really hadn't deserved to be treated like that. He wondered if he could visit himself at that time and was delighted to find out that he could.

His younger self was moping even in his dreams, blaming himself for being a bad friend, wishing he had never met Prompto because he would have been so much better off without him. At least he wouldn't have pushed him of a train.

It hurt Noctis to see himself like that, so he reached out and tried to encourage himself to keep looking for Prompto. He would surely find him, he was his best friend after all. Ignis and Gladio were there to help him too and when had they ever not been helpful?

His younger self calmed down then and on the next morning, they finally found a crucial clue to Prompto's whereabouts.

Noctis watched them reunite, smiled, and then continued to watch how they crumbled apart after the Crystal had absorbed him without a chance to say goodbye. He found Luna there, floating much like he did and within a blink, he was transported back to Altissia, right into the middle of the battle with Leviathan. He watched Ardyn stab Luna, watched his younger self fight the God, and then he watched Luna visit his younger self in his dreams, much like he had visited his friends. He remembered dreaming of her then, passing on the ring of Lucii. He looked at her floating next to him in the hotel room where he woke up, learning of her death and seeing a blind Ignis for the first time and they looked at each other.

'No matter how often I come here,' Luna said in his mind, 'it's always the same. It is as if I'm destined to die here in any scenario I could think of...'

'Luna...'

'It's okay. I've come to terms with this. I've.. Had. For a long time,' She added, giving him a long and meaningful look.

'You mean...'

'Mhm, I knew what was coming. I told myself in my dreams. Back then. Every night, I, the oracle told myself what I had to do to end this malicious circle. To bring peace to Eos. I'm sorry it had to be you and me, at that time... I'm sorry you couldn't spend more time with-'

'You told him to become my friend,' Noctis said, eyes wide with shock. 'He told me you wrote him a letter once...'

'Mhm. I knew you needed a friend. I'm sorry it didn't quite work out from the start, that was beyond my control, since I couldn't talk to either of you in your dreams back then,' Luna explained.

Noctis was thinking a mile a minute. Luna said she had been talking to her younger self in her dreams. Told herself to tell Prompto to become his friend, knowing how important they would be to each other in the future. And now that time and space meant nothing to him anymore, Noctis could to the same to...

He grabbed Lunas shoulders and planted a heavy kiss to her lips. 'Thank you,' he grinned and started to run. In the distance he was sure to hear Luna wish him luck.

Running through the times was perhaps stupid when he could move with his thoughts alone. But this was important and he couldn't think, felt like he had unlearned everything that he knew about this dimension. Nut he had to find it, had to find the time and place...

He almost ran into Carbuncle on his way, but at least he knew that he was right on track then. Together with him he found his young self who had just survived the attack by the Naga, who had slipped into a deep sleep.

There, he found himself in an adventure, fighting much like he did later on in real life, using magic like a child would. Noctis smiled, it had been easier then, not tinted with the fatal feeling that the end of the world was near.

Once the adventure was over and little Noctis lay back in his bed, ghost Noctis sat down next to him and took his hand gently.

"...Dad?" He asked and Noctis chuckled.

"I'm not our father," he said softly, brushing the boy's hair out of his face. "I'm you, from the future."

"Huh... Will I be strong like my dad then?"

"Mhm... And you will have good friends. Ignis and Gladio-"

Young Noctis scoffed at that, turning his gaze from his older self. "Gladio hates me."

"Hm... Maybe he does, but be a good boy and he'll see what your worth. Try to make Ignis happy and eat your greens sometimes, okay? They might look bad... Forget what I said, greens are bad."

He laughed with his younger self, who relaxed then and sighed softly, sleep already tugging on his consciousness to pull him away from even this realm.

"Are you really _me_?" Young Noctis asked, stifling a yawn.

"Mhm, I really am. Now listen to me, this is important. When you get into school - a public school, not Ignis's tutoring - There will be a boy. He's blond and wears glasses, he has a camera and is a little clumsy... He will be your best friend, but he will take a very long time to realize that he doesn't have to be embarrassed to talk to you... Talk to him. Go to him. Run with him and don't let him out of your sight," older Noctis pressed. "There will be a time when you can't be together, seize every moment you can!"

"Huh, if you say so... But what if he's an idiot?" Young, sleepy Noctis said, rubbing his eyes in an attempt to stay awake and listen.

"Well, he is. But he's a good boy. A very good boy with a big heart for animals. He loves dogs and chocobos-"

"Chocobos are cute," his young self smiled, making Noctis smile in return. "Yes... Very much so. You'll like him, but he needs your courage to be able to talk to you..."

Noctis could feel himself fading away as his younger self drifted off to sleep, soon to wake up in his own time and reality before he would travel to Tenebrae and meet Luna for the first time.

Noctis watched as his father came to carry him to the car, to go there with him and all he could do was pray that his message had come across.

* * *

Finally a moment of peace. No annoying classmates who asked him how many servants he had, who was more interested in his status as the prince than himself as the person. Standing here, behind this shack next to the garbage where he wasn't even allowed to be, he was alone and no one would bother him.

Heaving a sigh he stared at his feet. He had been at this school for a week now and no one fitting into the description of his old self in his dream had come along. Maybe it was all just that, a dream. Nothing of that was the truth and he should just ignore the nagging feeling of loneliness, the emptiness that was eating him up from the inside.

"H-hello, prince," he heard a voice and looked up, surprised to see a fat kid approaching him. He was blond, wore glasses and had a camera, everything his older self had told him he would have.

 _Could it be...?_

"Um, Hey would you like to be my- Uwah!"

The boy's foot got caught on the barrier and he fell facedown on the ground.

 _Ouch, that must have hurt!_

Noctis came running, intending to help up the other boy.

"Everything alright?" He asked, looking down where the boy was still lying on the ground. Hopefully he didn't get a concussion or anything worse.

"Y-yes, the camera looks fine..." The boy said as if that was all that he was concerned about.

Noctis stared at him in disbelief, doing the only thing that he could think of doing before he said something he might regret. He reached out to the boy to help him up, but it seemed like he had misunderstood the gesture, so he held up his camera for Noctis to take.

"Ah, here..."

Boy, his old self had not been lying when he said this guy was an idiot.

"Not that," he laughed, holding out his hand still as the other boy pushed himself up on his knees before he finally reached out to take his hand.

Noctis tugged and pulled, but man, this guy was heavy!

He found himself uttering the word as he exerted himself, but managed to pull the other to his feet just as the bell at the end of the break sounded.

So Noctis, being the good boy he promised his father to be, got up and hurried back into the school building, jumping over the barrier as if it was nothing.

"Well... See ya!" He said on his way, leaving the other boy behind.

He looked shocked somehow, as if he hadn't heard Noctis's words at all, lost in his mind as he was clutching his camera to his chest.

Noctis did slow down to wonder when the other was coming back to school but the bells stopped, so he hurried a little faster. He thought he had heard another thud of the other boy falling to ground, but surely he wouldn't make the smell mistake twice, right?

He didn't see much more of the boy the following days. It was about a week later when he caught glimpse of him again, hiding behind a pole that did nothing to hide his body at all. Noctis turned when he thought he heard the other boy's voice only to see him retreat with hunched shoulders.

In that moment he thought to take his older self's advice and just go and talk to him, if not for the car with Ignis pulling up at the gate of the school to pick him up.

That happened a few times, and Noctis even waited where they had met for the first time in hopes that they could meet again.

He could sense that the other boy was there. Over the past three months it had taken him quite some time to find out that his name was Prompto and that he was in another class but that he had no friends, really.

 _Just like me..._

Around winter time he had enough. Ignis had arrived with the car, but Noctis didn't want to leave without talking to this guy again, so he waited. His teeth were clattering from the cold and Ignis had asked him three times already to get into the car, but Noctis knew that Prompto was there.

Just when he had almost given up hope and turned to join Ignis in the warm car, he heard the heavy sound of footsteps on the freshly fallen snow.

"Hey, you!" He said and ran over to where Prompto tried to hide in vain behind a bush.

"A-ah!"

"Would you like to come and eat dinner at my place? I have some games we could play," he invited the boy, because what did he have to lose? His older self had said this guy would be his best friend forever, so it was definitely worth a shot.

"Ah, but I have training, too, um, so if you don't mind watching-"

"Do you think I could join?" Prompto asked, looking at him with wide eyes, seemingly more excited about a workout than the video games Noctis had to offer.

"If... If you really want to, but it's pretty exhausting-"

"I don't mind!"

"Huh?"

"Y-you know, I'm trying to lose weight and I've been running every day since we first met and I'm not good at this and I've read that working out helps a lot -"

"And eating right," Ignis cut in with a hand on Noctis's shoulders. "I'll make a nice, healthy meal... With lots of greens, it will do you both good."

Noctis pulled a face which in turn pulled a chuckle from the other boy.

"I started making my own salads and I like them! But I'm not good, so I would like to learn from you, please!" Prompto grinned and bowed low, surprising both the prince and his adviser.

"Well then. Come on in. What's your name?"

"Prompto. His name's Prompto and he's my friend," Noctis said, a happiness he hadn't known flowing through him that warmed his cold cheeks until they were pink with glee.

* * *

Noctis watched the scene unfold, so different than what he remembered and he smiled. He closed his eyes and in the next moment he found himself in a far away future, watching an old Prompto lying on his bed in New Insomnia, old and gray but no less his friend. He knew it was the end and a part of him couldn't wait for it to happen.

One breath. Another, slower, and one more.

Prompto looked so peaceful, asleep, but alone.

Noctis held his breath and started counting the other's freckles. However, before he could reach double digits, he found that the breathing had stopped and he turned to look to his side.

'It's been a while,' he smiled as he turned to his friend, who stared at him with an open mouth, looking no older than thirty.

'Noct!'

They hugged, they cried and the only thing on Noctis's mind was that he was going to make it up to Prompto for leaving him alone for such a long time. He owed him that much, leaving him alone, watching him grow old without him. And then maybe one day, they would go back together and make their first meeting even better.

'I saw you in my dreams!'

'That's because I was there.'

'Really?'

'Come on, there's a lot you need to know...'


End file.
